Nick de Cent
Amid all the talk of the sub-prime crisis, banks rescues, lay-offs and decimated City bonuses, this rather touching pastiche of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody arrived at ModernSelling HQ courtesy of the City grapevine. At least those traders still have a sense of humour....
Is this the real price?
Is this just fantasy?
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
And look at your buys and see...
I’m now a poor boy
Because I bought it high, watched it blow Rating high, value lo. Any way the Fed goes… Doesn’t really matter to me, to me
Mama – just killed my fund
Quoted CDOs* instead
Pulled the trigger, now it’s dead
Mama – I had just begun
These CDOs have blown it all away
Mama – oooh
I still wanna buy
I sometimes wish I’d never left Goldman at all.
I see a little silhouette of a Fed
Bernanke! Bernanke! Can you save the whole market?
Monolines and munis – very, very frightening me!
Super senior, super senior
Super senior CDO – magnifico
I’m long of subprime, nobody loves me
He’s long of subprime CDO fantasy
Spare the margin call you monstrous PB!
Easy come easy go, will you let me go?
Peloton!*** No – we will not let you go – let him go Peloton! We will not let you go – let him go Peloton! We will not let you go – let me go Will not let you go
– let me go (never) Never let you go – let me go Never let me go – ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, –
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go S&P**** had the devil put aside for me For me, for me, for me
So you think you can fund me and spit in my eye?
And then margin call me and leave me to die Oh PB***** – can’t do this to me PB Just gotta get out – just gotta get right outta here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
No price really matters
Nothing really matters – no price really matters to me
Any way the Fed goes.....
*Collateralised debt obligation – are a type of asset-backed security and structured credit product blamed for many of the current problems in the financial sector.
**Monoline insurance companies guarantee the timely repayment of bond principal and interest when an issuer defaults.
***A hedge fund set up by two former Goldman Sachs bankers; it got into deep doodoo this month having just been crowned the ‘New Fund of the Year’ at the Eurohedge industry awards. Peloton’s strategy of betting that US sub-prime mortgages would fall in value had clocked up gains of 87% over 2007.
****Standard & Poors – a financial rating and risk evaluation agency, it also issues the S&P 500, much like the FTSE share index, which is considered a prime indicator of the health of the US economy. Such agencies have been widely criticised for the sub-prime crisis and accused of not highlighting risk clearly enough.
*****Price-to-Book ratio or P/B ratio – a ratio used to compare a stock’s market value to its book value. It is calculated by dividing the current closing price of the stock by the latest quarter’s book value (book value is simply total assets minus intangible assets and liabilities).
edited by Nick de Cent on 20/03/2008